


The Human Way, Just Like You

by CrazyBeCat



Series: Slice Of Good Life [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Genderfluid Crowley, Genderfluid Warlock, He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), Other, She/Her Pronouns for Warlock, They/Them Pronouns for Warlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22588966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyBeCat/pseuds/CrazyBeCat
Summary: Warlock is pissed off how easy Crowley has it. Crowley helps Warlock feel better.T for language.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Warlock Dowling, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Warlock Dowling
Series: Slice Of Good Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702900
Comments: 11
Kudos: 130





	The Human Way, Just Like You

**Author's Note:**

> You can think up your own reasons for how Warlock has ended up in Crowley and Aziraphale's care. :)  
> Just a small one-shot idea that wouldn't leave my head.  
> This is my first fic for Good Omens, and I have another fic in the works that I'm super excited about.  
> No beta, so mistakes are all mine, though I had a friend read it quick and tell me they liked it.  
> Hope you enjoy it too!

Crowley looked up from his phone, startling at the wail that spilled down the stairs. Jumping to his feet, Crowley rushed to Warlock’s room, and flung open the door. He ducked under a flying shoe, wincing as it hit the wall behind him with a harsh thwack.

“Warlock! Warlock, hey.” He stepped into the room, reaching and lightly grasping the teen’s arms. “Hey, kid, let’s get you breathing, and calmed down.”

The sixteen-year-old screamed again, their face a mottled mess of tears, snot, and flushed cheeks. “Fuck you!”

Crowley bit back his natural desire to snap back, and nodded. “Yeah, okay, don’t know what I did, but have at me, then we can talk about it.”

Warlock ripped away from him, a spiraling hurricane of distressed emotions, as they pointed a sharp, accusing finger in Crowley’s direction. “You have it so! Fucking! Easy!” Warlock grabbed another shoe, rearing back to hurl it somewhere, but Crowley was quick to halt that with a snap, the shoe appearing in his own hand.

“No more throwing things around your room. If you need to throw things we’ll calm down and go do it in an appropriate environment.”

Warlock gripped at their hair, pulling on it with a harsh hold, snarling and swearing. “It’s not fucking fair!”

Crowley wished Aziraphale was here, it was so hard not to respond to Warlock’s aggression with his own demonic snarl. Aziraphale was so much better at handling Warlock’s aggression.

“Okay. What’s not fair?”

“You! You and your- your fucking ability to just be whatever the fuck you want! I hate you! It’s so fucking easy for you!”

It took a moment, but when it hit him, Crowley’s heart ached.

He held back words he knew wouldn’t help the situation, hearing Aziraphale’s reminders that instances like this were about their child, and that there are some things that just would not make it better.

But he did know something that could help, at least a little.

“Yeah, kid, I can do what a lot of people crave.” He stepped in close, and yanked his child into a tight hug, squeezing firmly and pressing a hand to the back of Warlock’s head, tucking their face to his chest. “How do you feel right now?”

Heavy sobs wracked through Warlock’s body for several moments before they choked out, “I want to be a pretty girl.”

Crowley squeezed tighter, letting them cry it out, until their sobs turned to sniffles, and the rage calmed down.

“You can be a pretty girl,” Crowley murmured gently, smoothing a hand up and down his child’s back. “You are a pretty girl.”

“Not like you.”

Crowley hummed. “No, not like me. But I can help you feel more like a pretty girl, the human way, if you like.”

He didn’t have to wait long for his child to nod. “Yes.”

“Come on.” Pulling away from the hug, he took hold of one of their hands, ignoring the protest of being too old for hand holding, and led the way to the master bedroom. “Make-up first? Or outfit first?”  
____________________________________________________________________________

As Crowley put the finishing touches on his child’s make-up, the process going much slower than usual as Crowley answered questions, he smiled. “Stunning.”

His child turned to look in the bathroom mirror, a tiny smile spreading across darkly painted lips. “Crowley?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry, that I yelled at you.”

“I know, kid.”

“I don’t hate you.”

Crowley swallowed hard, and nodded. “I know.”

They both looked in the mirror for a few silent moments, before Crowley waved a hand in the direction of the bedroom, “Alright, go slip into your outfit, and admire yourself. Demonic miracles and great products will ensure absolutely no smudging occurs. I’m going to get ready-”

“No miracles!”

Crowley raised his hands, “No, not today. Human way, just like you.”

He quickly did his own make-up after his child left the bathroom, not as elaborately as he’d done on his child, but he knew he looked good.

He tucked his effort up, and situated his breast forms, just like his child would be doing, and he kept his promise to not use miracles. Well, besides the ones to keep their make-up looking spectacular all day, what was the point of magic if he couldn’t use it for at least that much.

Stepping out of the bathroom, adjusting his skirt, he looked up to see his child looking in the mirror and fiddling with the outfit.

“Need a little help?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure, what’s the matter?”

His child waved at a lumpy chest. “They aren’t fitting quite right this time ‘round, like you showed me while I was trying all the outfits on.”

“Oh, yeah, happens all the time in the beginning. You’ll figure it out after a few tries.” Crowley stepped forward, hands raised. “Can I?”

His child nodded, and Crowley adjusted the forms. “Oh, wow. That feels so much better. Thanks.”

“Mm-hmm. Gotta be a little tighter than perhaps you’d think, otherwise they don’t feel as secure.”

“Thanks.”

“S’fine. Now then, Crowley’s still okay for me, but what about you? Now you’re feeling calmer, what’s it to be today?”

His child grinned. “Regina, she/her today.”

Crowley laughed, face pulled into a wide bursting grin. “Alright, your Royal Highness, shall we venture out for lunch? We can pick up something for Aziraphale and stop by the bookshop, show off your new look.”

“I’d like that. Think he’ll like the new look?” Regina asked, sweeping a gesture over herself and her outfit.

“He’ll love it. Come on then,” Crowley hooked elbows with Regina and they made their way out of the house to the Bentley, “you can pick what we get to eat, and when we get to the bookshop I’ll do a grand reveal. Angel’ll love the theatrics.”

And Aziraphale did love it all. Crowley had sauntered into the bookshop, and declared, “And introducing, the Great Queen, Regina, here for the Royal Lunch.”

With a gasp, Aziraphale admired Regina as she swept in after Crowley, and said, “What a fantastic color choice. It matches your eyes. Regina, my dear girl, you look lovely today. Thank you, my beautiful darlings, for bringing lunch.”

And Regina sat with her parents and had a delicious lunch being the very pretty girl she wanted to be that day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> I'd love to hear your thoughts.


End file.
